Every year in the fall, starting around my birthday in late September, I can feel a switch in my mood. The weight I carry and the pace in which I live my life start to become heavier and heavier as the winter draws near. I am often regarded for my energy and stamina because I have a true passion for life that often seeps through my pores. But every year around the same time, the passion becomes a burden I carry rather than the fuel that charges my battery. I call it my winter blues!
I become depleted and at times I suffer from debilitating anxiety. The impact is so noticeable that I have learned the patterns. I can feel it coming and know exactly what is happening as my mood changes. As predictable as this has become over the years, it feels like I am powerless to not fall victim to it. Despite every effort and awareness, my many tricks for prevention seem to fail me this time of year and as the winter draws nearer, I spiral deeper into myself and my anxiousness. Usually by December I am nearly locked inside my home. I dread holidays or events with lots of people. This includes the once beloved big family gatherings of my large extended family.